The People I Fell in Love With.

            This year a close friend of mine told me that I love others too hard, too fast. It broke my heart. I had never really thought in depth about how I love others until he had mentioned it to me over lunch one day. I realized he was right. For a long time, I was self-conscious and thought it was a bad thing. But recently, someone I really admire told me that because you have endless amounts of love to give, you should end every day feeling as if you can’t give any more love. Maybe that explains why I’ve had my heart broken so many times but still am mostly unguarded.

            Being broken-hearted is one of the worst feelings in the world. I’ve been hurt mainly by people and a few events, but the hurt in those situations will never compare to how it feels when we leave the kids. Saying goodbye is something I’ve always hated with a passion, but it’s especially hard when a piece of your heart is being ripped from your chest because it is attached to another person.

            Kemain is the most recent person who has taken a piece of my heart, but every child I’ve taught over the past three years with CGA has taken a piece of my heart as well. They have taught me more about happiness, kindness, and love than I ever thought possible. The kids have left me with memories of how their laughter sounds, how it looks to be genuinely happy, and what it feels like to truly love another person. I’ve learned so much about life and myself because of the kids, but I also learned how important it is to have strong friendships.

            Eleven days ago, when we left the states, I barely knew the other students on this trip. However, I’m coming home with four new best friends, one too many inside jokes, and a love for laughing until I cry. The five of us bonded over coffee at a Catfé where all the cats were skittish, in a tuk-tuk where we spilled the tea, at the school teaching or playing with the kids, and over late-night lesson planning sessions where they ate all my snacks.

            This trip has been so much different than my other two trips with CGA. The people here are so kind and so open; our group worked well together. I’ve done things this trip that I never thought I would do, made meaningful connections with our tuk-tuk drivers and translator, and have had my heart broken more times in the past few days than I have in a very long time. All of these people and things made this trip go by way too fast and have made me consider “missing” my flight home just so I can stay with them a little longer. Pieces of my heart will always be here, and I will miss this place for the rest of my life.